Dead can’t catch a break!
Mar 20, 2025
Kaieteur News-  Dem boys seh life hard, but yuh know what harder? Death! Man done dead, gone to de great beyond, and still can’t get no peace. Before yuh spirit even reach de pearly gates, dem tomb raiders done dig up yuh grave looking fuh gold teeth and diamond ring. Dem behaving like dem watching too much pirate movie!
Long ago, when yuh dead, yuh family use to put lil chain or ring pon yuh finger as a final send-off. But nowadays, yuh better tell dem cremate yuh and throw de ashes in de seawater, because as soon as yuh bury, dem tomb invaders digging yuh up like yuh is a treasure chest.
And if dem bandits don’t disturb yuh slumber, dem junkie making sure yuh get no rest! Whole night dem deh in de cemetery chipping out marble, pulling out steel rods, and knocking away like dem building Noah Ark. How a man supposed to rest when is pure banging and crashing whole night?
To mek matters worse, some people done turn cemetery into living quarters. One man seh he rather sleep next to de dead than rent from dem landlords who acting like dem own half de earth. Graveyard now got tenants—people hanging up clothes pon tombstone, cooking lil rice in front yuh granny grave and even running extension cord fuh plug inde generator.
And if yuh think that bad, hear dis one: cars crashing into de cemetery like is pit stop in a Grand Prix race! Last year, one driver claim he brakes fail, but dem boys seh he more drunk than de spirits in de grave. Tomb crack up, coffin expose, and de dead man peeping out like he want see what really going on.
Dem boys seh when yuh alive, yuh got to work till yuh drop. But in Guyana, even when yuh drop, yuh still can’t rest. Yuh getting less peace in yuh grave than when yuh was hustling fuh survive.
Cemetery suppose to be de final resting place, but right now, de dead lining up at de passport office fuh see if dem could get a visa to another afterlife!
Talk half. Leff half
(Dead can’t catch a break!)
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